~Angel~ Owned and Cherished

My Life

2006-07-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

I have to apologize to all those who became so intensely wrapped in my writing but I have stripped myself of such a Title As a Submissive. All my life I have been angel. I have been strong, unyielding strength found deep within.. But I cannot be strong all the time. Superman needs help too!
If you should so call me An Angel asmost believe me to truly be one. If any have hit the earth they believe I am one of them. Then you should see me as this.

Dark shifting form of man. Two torn and tattered wings. Strength sapped from every whimb of his body. He lay there prone looking at the sky from whence he came. Knocked down it is time to feel humanity not just give it to others. No longer to feel strong and hold others high above you. But to be held. To feel the embrace of life you must make a life from your own to be held in. You must find what and who you are before you have the love and strength to give to another. For if you don't know who you are. If you don't know what your life is... How can you support someone else when you have no foundry of your own.

Yes I believe I have been stripped of my wings. No I will not stop being there for people. But in a helpful manner. I will no longer be the soul burden of anyone's life. And I have one person to thank for opening my eyes.

If I never post again I want it to always be known. Natosha... you taught me a lot about myself even if you consider yourself selfish and blind. Zack... You have done for me... What no other has. You have looked into me without seeing me with lustful eyes. You have placed your hands around my heart and restarted for the first time. You have unraveled the puzzle inside... Taken it completely apart and demanded it be put back together the right way.... My way. Thank you.. I love you both.

Angel

Hmmm

2006-04-30T15:12:00.000-07:00

Lost in thought. yet again my Mistress has caught my mind and seized it from all other previous mental endevores. She love's it too.. She feeds from it. I love to please and make her happy, She as well loves it but she loves nothing more then to bring me speachless, to make me squirm in love and lust, or stop me cold dead in my track with a simple few words. She knows me so well. from inside and out.. She may very well know more about me then i do myself.

Hmm seems I cannot shake it. I make and dedicate this blog to our... "Sessions". So here forth I will either be typing of them... Or of myself.. Seems i dont talk much about myself.. I tend not to think so anyways. As this seems a challenge to me yet again my Mistress with thrive from knowing it is a challenge.
~Angel~

Every Journey Has Its Beginning.

2006-04-29T18:13:00.000-07:00

Taking a ride.. this trip felt like it was going to take forever... I thought i knew what i was getting myself into.. I was heading on my way to My Mistress' house for the first time.. this would be the beginning of the end of the fake life i live hiding my deep secrets from society... now i could take a step into the realm that had only before laid deep in the recesses of my mind. But this bus trip, comfortable seats.. Air ride, not feeling the bumps in the road just the steady humm of the buss and the thoughts in my mind to accompany me... I thought long deep and hard about what i was going to get myself into. I of course had prept myself this night for tomorrow..
freshly shaved skin for the first time had started to... make me aware that my brand new slacks had a rather sensual feel that caressed my skin, but hey thats why i baught them in the first place, back to the bus my mind slowly comes back to me snapping out of what was about to be a trance i take my mistress' advice. "Now i know you are going to use the bus ride to get some rest before you get here aren't you Angel" I knew it wasn’t a real question.. It was one of those statements that she knew i knew to agree with.
So i pull out the portable DVD player.. of course a personal distraction from the thoughts that would keep me wound up and thinking throughout the trip. I popped in the chronicles of riddick.. Just another scifi flick that we all love to watch the bad/good guy tear people a new one while going through his own little life’s tests. great i can find commonality in scifi just what i need.. As the action proceeds my mind finally drifts away to a relaxing slumber.
several hours go by in my slumber and half the trip is over at our first stop.. my mind automatically comming to an awareness that we are slowwing down for our stop and bringing me back from my subconcious slumber. A quick bite to eat during our thirty minute break, I wanted plenty of energy, I knew this trip would be a true test to myself.
A few ciggarrettes after the meal and we were back on the road. A thought crossed my mind one that i had let fade from me for the ride but now had come to me. My permitted act of arrival. I was told to get off the bus when i arrived and briskly aproach their vehicle and that i was permitted a kiss. I was permitted to kiss and hug my mistress,My first physical touch of her. You see we met online, She had already got my mind. A willingly self enduced vow to her.A promiss of my mind, heart and body. It is her to do as she pleases.
The bus finally arrives comming to its halt as i grab my things and promptly get nervous, the first time of this entire time to truely be in an almost panicked nervousness. I don’t want to let her down, I don’t want to Dissapoint her as I am now her Alpha Slave, The one that takes premise over all the others, she tells me. I have a name an expectancy to with hold. At least in my mind i see it as such.
I look at all the vehicles in the lot and not a one has a passenger or driver. a bit more of panic sets in as I think maybe they forgot what time it was... Was I stranded. My phone is out of service here. how would i let them know? I shake it off a self command to myself.. Come on now man, your the cool headed one.. nothing shakes you from your point of thought, nothing offbalances you, your the cool calm and collected that everyone seems to love.
I decide it best to look in the station. Walking in and searching a bit more of off edge I get as i dont see them, But then they round a bend and I know i am safe. They aproach my arm going out to her as she brings one to me a tight embrace around her.. Thinking I would never let go Breaking the my hold on her I take my chance possibly my only chance of the night i suspect to ravage her lips with my own as they seek her with no abandone and take hold, Tongue darting into her mouth and caressing her own as my lips sensually grasp hers. Breaking the kiss knowing the other mistress that drove her would probably not stay patient for very long.

2006-04-28T16:50:00.000-07:00

Car trip- On the road to Mistress' house

I was instructed to put my stuff in the back and I took my two bookbags and the tube of vynil, which I had brought as a tribute to my mistress, In the trunk and closed it. I was then instructed to get in the back, crawling in while the two mistress' made their way to the two front seats. The ride for the most part went calmly, making small conversation here and there it was not at all what i excpected. We turned off onto the entrance of a dirt road and the car came to a sudden stop, I unexpecting such actions look at the two in curiousity as I was told to stay put they both crawled in back on either of my sides. The mistress Tessa the one that drove was to my left and grinned as she put a blindfold over my eyes, I slightly turned to her as she did so not wanting to displease her and to my sudden realiztion cold steal was slapped onto my wrist and clasped tight as my mistress Natosha pulled my arms hard behind my back.
I tugged a bit on the handcuffs as mistress Tessa climbed back out and into the driver seat. The car starting to move again as My mistress grabbed the back of my neck clasping hard and digging her nails in deep. I felt my flesh give out under her nails and I winced slightly with a low inaudible tone.

Her words were spoken softly into my ear.. like a whisper on the wind, my mind hardly able to take in what exactly she was saying. I was already turning.. zoning out as most say, but I was changing into something else my mind turning itself inside out.
She hovered her lips over mine, Teasing, Taunting me with them. My own helpless lips quivering begging for a touch as she would deny it from me. But yet agin what is she showwing me?
She is showwing me her true ability of power over me. Even in such a simple thing as a kiss. Her nails now welcome for any touch from her was wanted, I begged, Screamed for it deep inside me. Yet not a word escaped my lips.
Time must have lapsed.. my memory only serving me to remember my Mistress taking hold of my chin between her teeth, gripping hard almost tearing into my goatie but it was released as we eased into a driveway to a stop.
My Mistress getting out of the car her voice erupted the silence addressing the other mistress. "you may do with him as you please, I need to go open the garage".
Tessa opened her door as my own door was left open, I could hear her taunting fingernails tapping insistently on the roof of the car. Was she getting to me as well? She was indeed. The tapping rythm working itself into my very soul. It was a simple wait, But she wanted her pressence known, And known it was.
Tessa climbed back in the drivers seat before pulling into the driveway. A loud bang was heard almost causing me to jump out of my skin. "Calm down It's only the garage door." I had to calm myself.
My door again opened i was cautiously pulled out of the car along with my belongings. I could hear mistress Tessa struggling with my luggage, As it seems i know not my own strength, I thought my bags were rtelitively light as she grumbled and cussed me for the weight.
I was guided to a set of stairs as the blindfold and hand cuffs where still in place. The notion of a kidnapping must have been the affect they wished for it was feeling as such by now. I was only a possession at the moment. And they indeed wanted me to know that. Through two doors, A turn and another flight of stairs. This had me turned around especially having to take the stairs with caution.. I tried to no availe to make a mental map of this place. It was no use they had lodged themselves deep into my mind and I was lost.
Finally I was ordered to take off my shoes then poised in a room with a carpeted floor. My profession experience letting me know that the carpet under my feet was a cut pile, several years old partially worn.
My mind again snapped to as my hand were uncuffed. "Take off your shirt Annngel" The voice my my Mistress music to my ears even in a command. My arms reached up and unbuttoned the satin black long sleave shirt I wore. My body, physique and looks were my only weapon. And this particular visit I chose to use it. Black slacks, well polished black shoes, and a black satin long sleave shirt. As I lowwered the shirt off my shoulders I exposed my next temptation to my mistress. I must have been begging for a beating as i revealed the longsleeve form fitting fishnet shirt. Not a single contour or muscle escaped the outline of the fishnet on my chest and back.

Introduction to Pain

2006-04-27T18:43:00.000-07:00

"Ooo. Look what we have here MissTessa" My mistress voice once again broke the silence as i could hear Tessa's breathing in Awe. My mistress came up behind me, there mere scent of her letting me know she was there and the little sounds of her movement. She kissed the lower lobe of my ear and i could feel a grin move across her cheek as it was pressed against the side of her neck. I made the fatal mistake of lower my bound wrists behind her head in a slight embrace. She laughed softly from under her breath and took two steps back. My hands now stuck behind her head my body stretched out. I knew better then to step and follow her. My body helped respond in a backward arch my back arching and m y entire body now volnurable to the two mistress' ready to pounce.
"Are you sure you don't want to have a little fun before you go?" My mistress taunted Tessa with the thought but she declined, Setting my belongings to the side She spoke of having to go and get ready for work "but I will be back later tonight most definitely" She reassured me this wouldn't be the last of her during this trip.
"Awe... too bad he looks so beautiful" Miss Tessa took off out the door and the two of us, My mistress and I where now alone.
Silence, nothing but the humm of the elctricity and the tick, tock, of the clock on the wall greated me. Finally she moved. She walked a complete circle around me. She was observing me, Taking it all in at once.
She broke off and walked to start messing with something only a few feet from me. Only when she opened the cd player did i realize that she was turning on music. Some dark gothic/metal band played in the background. The band name leaves me as I never thought to ask of it.
She sat beside me moving to squirm her way behind me her hands gently caressing my sides, my arms, and shoulders. My body couldn't help but respond. My back again arched at her touch. "Is this what you wanted? Is this what you came for?"
Her voice breaking me from a trance. I nodded ever so slightly. Then her nails dug in, deep biting into my flesh, almost as if they would tear through into my very muscles. A gasp of shock unexpecting and a light gritting of my teeth. A snear wanted to form across my face.
Never have I allowed onyone to do such things to me. Never have i given up my control. Never have I ever submitted to someone else's will. My own will taking this as a hit. A painful realization, a feeling of loss of all my freedom. My mind racing, my eyes racing around under the blindfold for escape.
Another peircing grasp into my flesh bringing me back to reality. I had not responded to one of her questions aparently... But yet I didn't hear it at all.
Her hands made her way up my side and under my arms, She drove her fingernails up into my armpitts not letting up she just lifted more and more as gasps and groans between my clenched teeth escaped.
"You know the word, you just don't want to say it. your too proud aren't you Angel?" She knew me all too well already. This was getting to me, my body responding long before my mind would perceive the pain pulsing into my body. Yes a massochist by nature, but this was all new to me.
How could I allow someone to take a baseball bat to me yet this womans fingernails were cutting into nerve endings I had long ago thought to sever. It snapped inside of me. I had given myself to her. I had reopened all senses to her.. Including my sense of pain.
The physical torture becoming to much. She would caress down my sides.. down my inner thighs ever so tenderly touching me, arousing me, then dig those nails those sharpened claws into my flesh. I fought back tears, I fought back anger, But I knew there was no use in fighting the pain.
It must have been a half hour fourty five minute I figured in my mind and those claws found their way into a direct exact spot they had hit before. "RED, RED! FUCK...." My body jirked itself into the air and away from her twisting in the air and landing on the floor on my palms and legs. My stomach now flat on the ground Tears erupting from my face as my body began to quiver. My pride struck with the sharpest dagger. Much more painfull then my now wracked body could even sense. My body turned onto its side. My control over myself gone as I curled into a ball and just began to sob.
My body still quivering my mind racing in defeat, her hand came down to touch me. "come here, come here" her voicee now soft, Tender. I slowly climbed into her lap curling up in a fetal position as she wrapped her arms around my waist and I inturn wrapped my own around her neck. I cried, I bawled my eyes out into her neck as I shivered.
"shhhh, It's ok.. it's ok Angel, My dear sweet angel." She must have known what she was doing. She had pushed my limits beyond all I had known. brought me to a new horizon. Brought me into admitance that I indeed have limits. We must have sat there a lifetime as she rocked me in silence.

Crying Game

2006-04-26T19:49:00.000-07:00

Finally her voice broke the silence as she felt my body shift letting her know i was still awake. "You are a little pridefull aren't you? It made high expectations of yourself. It's ok Angel we all have limits." My crying didn't lesson at the sound of her voice, instead it seamed to pick up as my admittance to limitation was vocalized.
We spoke for hours on end about me having limits. Of me having to deal with my limits, and that I must make sure to tell her of them. She knew i was truly hurt inside, I thought i had disappointed my mistress and yet i hadn't. The thought of being a dissapointment was unbearable in my eyes.
I wanted to hide. Thoughts of ruinning the entire weekend had floated through my mind.
She told me that she wanted to know my limits. She wanted to know how far she really could push my body before it became too much for me to handle. She explained that the entire weekend would be of testing limitations, and that if i vocalize what was too much we would work on it.
She was showing a softer side of herself. one she had kept hidden a bit from me. I knew she had been taking it easy on me, But yet again she wanted to keep me. She would rather train me from as perfect of a being as i seemed into an even more perfect submissive to her. do not speak of myself as being a perfect human specimen to the world. but as a perfect human to her, to her life. The match of yin and yan.
She wanted me to grow as a submissive, she wanted herself to grow with me as well not known to me until later admittence. We talk for another hour and a half or so, The blind fold was still on and stayed on for a good while later. She kissed me and held me as we talked. She sensually started caressing my bare flesh, her fingertips roaming across my body. She was bringing me back to a peek as we spoke.---- more to come surely